Gotta snap out of it....

I wish I could figure out what's been keeping me in a funk for so long now. I swear its feeling like this has been going on for years now.

I used to be happy, outgoing, creative and fun loving. These days I just feel like a waste of space.

I used to enjoy my work, now it just feels like a meaningless chore I have to suffer thru day by day.

I can't remember the last time I picked up my guitar and just spent the whole afternoon playing it. I can't seem to hold it for more than 15 minutes without it somehow making me feel like a failure.

My sleeping habits are completely blown. I seem to just lay there staring and worrying. After an hour of that I'll turn on the tv and watch some stupid show hoping it will bore me to sleep.

I need to find a way out of this. I've talked to my doc and tried some antidepressants, they seemed to do more harm than good. I've never been one for taking pills anyways.

I don't enjoy talking to my friends about it, because I don't want to bring them down too.

So I guess i'll sit here and wait for my train and whine to my blog about it. Maybe just writing it down can help get it out of my system. Who knows? It can't hurt I guess.

Or maybe its just contributing to the exceedingly enormous anount of whining that already exists on the internet.

Maybe I'm just down because deep in my heart I'm mourning the loss od the crocodile hunter. Though I think I can say with conviction, that's not it. That guy took risks that were so insane, nobody should be surprised he finally got taken out of the mix. The fact that a stingray did him in is so bizzare that its almost funny. Stingray deaths are extremely uncommon.

It would be akin to him dying because of a kitten slicing open his jugular. Ok, so stingrays are more dangerous than kittens, but for the amount of times this guy taunted beasts that could have easily killed him, a stingray may as well be a kitten.

But in the end, I don't really care, its not like the guy owed me money or anything. Sucks that his family has to endure the loss and the unrelenting media coverage, but that's life in the glorious world of discovery channel fame and fortune.

Enough rambling for now, my thumbs are tired. Enjoy your night.

John