Rob's an ass....

Happy now?

The Neighborhood sure has changed... back...

(Please note.. this was going to be an essay... but has turned into Chapter 1. Taking a break now)

My partner Jim and I first moved to our neighborhood back in 1996.

It was our first time of living together, and having our own place, and living in the big city of Chicago. We both worked downtown for the last year, and were tired of the commute. So we started scoping out neighborhoods, and apartments that we could afford.

We spent a week printing out the apartment listings we could find on the Chicago Reader's website (Which was at it's web infancy at that point, but was the city's quintescential website for finding apartments.) We then spent a day calling all the apartment landlords to get more information of each apartment and set up viewings. We learned very early in the process, to cut off the landlord's spiel, and say "We have a big dog." This cut our list of opportune apartments by about 50%, and saved a huge amount of time on the phone.

We trimmed our list down to about 8 apartments we wanted to view. They were all on the North Side, which we had already predetermined to focus our search on, for the public transportation options.

Having never done this before, we both agreed "We're not going to take the first place we see." (Both Jim and I are kind of implusive, and if you ask our friends that, they will probably respond with "Uh... KIND OF?!?!?")

So, our first viewing was a 3 bedroom apartment on the 4400 block of Dover, advertised for $850, with a parking spot available at an additional charge. We drove down, found easy parking, and went and met the landlord out side the nice stone 6 flat. He was a funny older gentleman, who explained to us that he used to be an English professor, and was giving us a history of the building...

Upon walking up to the building, I noticed that the building next door was under construction, as there was a number of about 10 to 15 construction / cleanup workers hanging out in front of the building.

The landlord opened the door into this gorgeous building, and then pointed out the security doors / buzzer / mailboxes, and then knocked on the door of the first floor apartment.

A woman on the phone answered the door, and swung the door wide open, paying no attention to us at all, and then walked back into the main room.

The landlord then explained to us that the current tenants weren't leaving on good terms, so just to ignore them. That definitely set the mood for the tour of the apartment.

It wasn't a true 3 bedroom apartment, but rather, a 2 bedroom, with a 1/2 bedroom that would make a good office / den. (Which was inviting to both of us, since we had decided that I would need an office for my computer equipment.)

The bathroom was kind of run down, with an old style tub, and a makeshift shower head manually attached. But the place was BIG. I can't honestly say how many square feet, but it was large.

The odd gentleman then showed us the kitchen, and the back bedroom, and took us to the basement to show us where the storage lockers were.

Walking into the basement, both Jim and I felt like we were walking into the basement where Buffalo Bill kept his victims in Silience of the Lambs, which was kind of cool for both of us.

However, I digress....

The landlord, then handed us the application to fill out, and pulled us aside once we were away from the building, and assured us that "Don't worry about a credit check, I'm only going to call your employers to make sure you have jobs that you say you do. Also, if you want to agree today to the apartment, I'm willing to knock $100 off the rent, and give you the parking space for free. "

We both raised our eyebrows, and I asked him why he would be willing to lose money on us?

He then informed us that he would rather rent to two gay men living together, than any other combination of people, because we tend to complain less about things, and take care of them ourselves.

Jim and I thanked him, and told him that we would be back in touch by the end of the day, as we still had other appointments to keep. (Not to mention that we both agreed not to take the first place we saw)

We then spent the rest of the afternoon, driving around the northside, as far up to Evanston, with a couple stops in Roger's park.

The places were nothing near as large as the apartment on Dover, and all more expensive. None of them included parking, or even had it available.

Two of the places, we drove by and blew off completely judging from the neighborhood, or building alone. There was no way were were going to move into a high-rise, or a building directly on a busy venue like Ashland.... etc.

(Sidenote: It was amazing to see that out of the apartments we did decide to walkthrough, 100% of them were currently occupied by gay men. Which we found to be really funny, since we weren't really near boystown much at all.)

After we viewed the last place on our list. Jim and I stopped in a bar to have a beer and talk about every place we saw.

It became instantly clear.... The first place was the best place, and only place we liked.

We called the landlord, and told him we would take it, he told us to fill out the application, and meet him back there in an hour.

We filled out the form at the bar, drove back to Dover, and handed it to him, he said he would contact us in a day, to confirm everything checked out, but reassurred us, as long as we weren't lying about our jobs, it would all be good.

That's when I noticed that the construction workers were still on break outside of the building next door, some 4 hours later. I mentioned it to Jim. He laughed and said something to the point of, "I noticed them to... they aren't construction workers.... they live there"

"Oh...." was my initial response.

We walked back to the car, and got in. I don't remember who mentioned it first. But one of us said "Maybe we should hang down here for a few hours, and come back and check the neighborhood out around 11:00 at night?"

We both agreed it was a good idea.

We drove around, killing time, grabbing some dinner and a beer or two, until 11:00 hit, then drove back by. Luckily, the neighborhood didn't change much. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't unsafe.

We felt confident in our decision, because this was by far the coolest, and largest place we could get for the money, and by no means, in the worst neighborhood we visited.

(I'm now realizing I just spent WAY too long talking about that... so let's flash forward with some key points...)

• We move in
• We love the apartment
• We love living together
• We realize the construction workers next door, do indeeed live there, with about 40 others.
• We realize that we should have waited until about 3:00 AM to do our driveby of the place.

I will never, ever, ever, regret moving into that apartment. It was perfect for us.

The neighbors in the building was great, the neighborhood was great, the rent was GREAT! We had a parking spot. (Which we used all the time, because we both became hooked on public transportation).

The block of 4400 N Dover at that point was an incredible experience. There were Blacks, White's, Hispanics, Chinese, Vietnamese, Koreans, Irish, Germans, Jews, Catholics, BBQ'ers, Vegan's, Doglover's, Catlover's, Young / Old, all living on the same block, in the nearest harmony you could ever ask for.

For me, as a 26 year old gay white male from the heartland of suburbia white bread america... I found it to be thrilling.

The rest of the neighborhood was still a little rough around the edges. However I never felt scared.

Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of times that I would cross the street to avoid a crowd of people screaming at each other outside the stores on Montrose. I also learned, during a panicked walk home down Wilson, that I would never walk by the Wooden Nickel after sundown.

These are the things you learn in the city. Be aware of your surroundings.

It wasn't unusal to hear a gunshot in the distance every now or then, or to have a police helicopter shine it's light across your window as they are checking out the activities at the school playground across the street, or possibly looking for a suspect running thru the graceland cemetery.

I fell in love with living in the City. Something that you never would have told me was possible years before this.

Once more... with commitment...

So, as anyone can tell from knowing me, blogging is something that I am aggressively passive at.

I've started MANY failed blogs, such as this one. (Just take a look to see when the last time I posted was...)

So, instead of doing my typical New Year's resolution of starting yet another failed blog, I decided I'd try to resurrect this one. I fully expect that I'll add another three posts, and then lose interest, so what's the use of going thru the process of setting up a whole new one?

So, it's now 2009, what a trip. At this point in my life, I can remember New years Day from 1979, 1989, and 1999.

Each time we hit the last year in a decade somehow sticks with me for some silly reason.

So, what is this year gonna bring for us? The only things I know of for sure at this point are the following...

1.) I'll be in Vegas at the end of this Month
2.) I'll be on a Mediterranean Cruise for the Fourth of July

Everything else is up the air at this point.

I'm hoping to keep my job for the year, but the way the world is going, who knows.  I came to grips with the fact that working in the IT field these days is a crap shoot.  I could walk in to work any day, and for any reason, deal with the fact that I am a disposable employee.  No matter how much work I do, or how well I do it.  I could be let go at anytime.

So, I got that going for me.

Maybe I will make a resolution to get my Guitar fixed up, and start playing again actively.  that actually sounds like a really good idea.  In fact, yes, I will do that.  In lieu of replacing one of my PC monitors that is broken, I will hold off on that.  Tommorrow, I'm going to take my guitar down to Guitar center, have it restrung (I screwed up the trem about a year ago, and have been embarrased to say I can't fix it myself.)

So there... I will eat that little nugget, fess up to it as I already have, and go get it fixed.  Then I will go back to playing regularly, and see how much damage I've gone to my actual guitar playing with all the Rock Band and Guitar Hero I've been playing the last two years.

Maybe I'll post back with a video of me being totally mediocre on it.

Enjoy, and Happy New Year!

My favorite humor....

Sarcasm, when mixed with truth, is the best funny there is.

I remember watching these two interviews live as they happened. They still make me laugh just as hard.




And again in '98

Just another reason....

.... to dislike Tucker Carlson.

Now THIS is talent in editing....

(In lieu of everyone else in the world dedicating today to be a day to rehash over 9/11, I am abstaining.... well, in lieu of that, and the fact I don't have much to say that hasn't been stated already. Anything I have to say would prolly just be some mindless rant that I don't feel like giving the energy to right now)

As many of my friends would be willing to admit, I'm a big geek. I dig comics, video games, Sci-Fi.... everything just up to RPG, and definitely not LARPING. (Though I had a brief run in with RPG's in my adolesence, thank the maker it didn't grab hold of me!)

About a decade ago, the internet turned me onto reading Fan Fiction, or fanfic if you will. I spent the better part of a weekend perusing different fanfic sites and was pretty much turned off on the idea. Why? Because even though these fans were brilliant enough to put together well written, and thought out stories, they all seemed to have to cross a line.

What line? Sex.

Now before you go thinking that I'm some kind of prude, which I'm sure my friends would just LOVE hearing that somebody thinks I'm a prude, I'm not. Quite the opposite rather.

I just found myself getting angry at reading these stories that could have almost been killer stories turn into some sort of fantasy outlet for some geek to express thier desire to see Scully go down on Mulder, or Skinner, or both.

The worst one was a story that I stumbled upon, was actually a really great story. Until I got about half way thru it. Scully and Mulder were assigned to a mission to keep Krycek in a witness protection program. They were in some secluded cabin or something like that.

Everything was going along nicely, until Mulder decided to manrape Krycek. It was just stupid and unecessary. But I guess it got somebody's rocks off. Good for them.

A few years later, I found out that there was a cult of these fanficers who really felt the need to get Kirk and Spock together. I swear, the pictures people have drawn are so absurd, they are funny.

I'm hoping that the people who put together this little video below are in the same frame of mind as I am in bringing out the absurdity. If not, oh well. I still think it's one of the most brilliant videos I've seen on youtube to date!

Enjoy!

(Update.... as if the whole story I read about the Mulder and Krycek manrape scene wasn't bad enough.....

I went looking to see if I could find the story itself to link, and have now discovered that there is an entire genre of Xfiles fanfic dedicated to the subject. Namely "Cabinfic"

Um...Enjoy?)

What are the Intergalactic BAC laws?

Be careful when leaving the Mos Eisley cantina! Imperial Stormtroopers have set up a speed trap just out of orbit around Tatooine!

Gotta snap out of it....

I wish I could figure out what's been keeping me in a funk for so long now. I swear its feeling like this has been going on for years now.

I used to be happy, outgoing, creative and fun loving. These days I just feel like a waste of space.

I used to enjoy my work, now it just feels like a meaningless chore I have to suffer thru day by day.

I can't remember the last time I picked up my guitar and just spent the whole afternoon playing it. I can't seem to hold it for more than 15 minutes without it somehow making me feel like a failure.

My sleeping habits are completely blown. I seem to just lay there staring and worrying. After an hour of that I'll turn on the tv and watch some stupid show hoping it will bore me to sleep.

I need to find a way out of this. I've talked to my doc and tried some antidepressants, they seemed to do more harm than good. I've never been one for taking pills anyways.

I don't enjoy talking to my friends about it, because I don't want to bring them down too.

So I guess i'll sit here and wait for my train and whine to my blog about it. Maybe just writing it down can help get it out of my system. Who knows? It can't hurt I guess.

Or maybe its just contributing to the exceedingly enormous anount of whining that already exists on the internet.

Maybe I'm just down because deep in my heart I'm mourning the loss od the crocodile hunter. Though I think I can say with conviction, that's not it. That guy took risks that were so insane, nobody should be surprised he finally got taken out of the mix. The fact that a stingray did him in is so bizzare that its almost funny. Stingray deaths are extremely uncommon.

It would be akin to him dying because of a kitten slicing open his jugular. Ok, so stingrays are more dangerous than kittens, but for the amount of times this guy taunted beasts that could have easily killed him, a stingray may as well be a kitten.

But in the end, I don't really care, its not like the guy owed me money or anything. Sucks that his family has to endure the loss and the unrelenting media coverage, but that's life in the glorious world of discovery channel fame and fortune.

Enough rambling for now, my thumbs are tired. Enjoy your night.

John

Bad Sleep

I ate some weird Mexican meal last night that didn't sit very well with me. I'm not saying that it was bad, it just didn't sit right in my stomach. It was shredded beef, cooked with egg and grilled peppers and onions. It was quite tasty, but sat like a rock in my stomach.

Plus, it screwed up my sleep cycle last night. I crashed around 9:00 instead of going out for the club night. I woke up at 2:00 AM, and wasn't able to fall back asleep.

I watched a couple of shows that the TiVo had recorded for me. Still unable to sleep, I got up and cruised around youtube for awhile. What the hell is wrong with people? Do we need to see another video of someone making an ass out of themselves by trying to lipsync some lame tune on their webcam?

Or a clip of some white trash chicks pulling each other's hair out after school.

How about a clip of some twit crashing his bike / skateboard / atv and then hurting himself ala Jackass? Not that I really mind watching Darwinism in motion, but what pisses me off is the fact that all these morons have to show you the accident, and then try to make it more dramatic by showing it again in slow motion. Fucking asstards.

But there I am, clicking on each one, hoping for it not to suck. Every once in a while I'm suprised, but that is few and far between.

For some reason the fad on the video sites this week are video clips of peoples cats. Not even doing anything funny / cute / stupid. Just walking around. I mean I'm sure it's cute to the animals owner, but why would anyone else want to see it?

These Web2.0 sites have turned the internet into a virtual wallet that we can cram with snapshots and photographs to bore people with.

It's the new equivalent of having a slideshow of your vacation photos that nobody else wants to see. (Ok, I'm guilty of that as well, but at least with my slideshows you're gonna see something entertaining. Seriously! I'm not like everyone else, my shit is rocking!)

....But I digress.

I finally got tired enough to try to go back to sleep, and that damn Meximeal started screwing with my dream cycle. I must have jolted awake about four different times with the feeling that I had just fallen out of a chair. Occasionally, that can be cool, however four times within a three hour period is not. My psyche is all screwed up today.

Anyways, just felt like complaining. Feel free to ignore me.

The other white meat....

So once again, I'm sitting at the treain station bar with nothing better to do while waiting for my train. I just had a semi-deep thought....

Why is it that food organizations feel the need to advertise on tv?

I'm not talking about companies advertising a new form of microwavable mac and cheese, or some sort of can o soup that is good on the go, but rather, meat.

I mean, are they afraid that people are going to forget that pork exists? Are they in competition with chicken? They must be paranoid.

Maybe its just me, but then again, I don't like pork chops...

Johnny

Transformers AND GI Joe cartoons online!

Hasbro is offering free Transformer(Beast Wars, Beast Machines, Cybertron), GIJoe, Dueling Masters, and more. online for free. Since Hasbro is the one offering them they are Legal

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Rich and Craig at Germanfest 

Rich in Lederhosen 

Guadalajara